I was a Forcep baby, and just recently i began to understand "the weirdness of it"...
I despise the fact that my tears were so shallow, but i love the way it filled my eyes, little by little until i can see no more than vague images of the books i read or the movies i watch...
Last week, exactly a week ago, I found myself another 374 pages worth of treasure. I told myself I am not gonna read it until the exams are over, I wouldn't be able to anyway, but as fate decides I have to read it... Along with my reviewers, along with the sleepless nights, along with the days i grew to dread...
"Each of us is responsible for the evil we may have prevented" - James Martineau
I wouldn't have known this since I am a very passive person, but ofcourse not unless it was needed for a philosophy class, the two kinds of sins... mortal.. venial.. omission and commission...
Each of us... Is Responsible... for the Evil... We may have Prevented...
every cut of the phrase means too much to me, it goes straight to my very sense that tells me,
"this means a lot"
I could go on and tell my side of the story and tell how this 374 pages change a lot of my passive thoughts.. no not just the passives.. but a lot of my current perspective.. but i just want to share what i think and what i feel...
I have indeed a lot of frustrations...
I even once wished of being with God especially when i think I can no longer carry the pain that I'm going through, but being with the people that I love makes me so ashamed of myself.
How dare me wish to die when someone else is fighting for their lives. When someone else prays for the lives of their loved one... Have I showed to the people that I love that I care for them? that I love them? I haven't... and It's the worst thing...
I am afraid of growing old, I remember brushing my teeth then the thought of me being 80 years old struck me.. Hell was I afraid... Mortified by the thought that I will come to a point that I will look back and remember the days in a rocking chair...
When we are haunted with our past it tends to pave the road for our present.. our future... Painting it with regret and grief and sadness...
To look back and move on.. pay respect.. to the people... to the pain... to the happiness... to the past that paved the road... I feel for her.. I feel deeply for her... To Constance who shared the story of her life, her mothers life, her family's life... Had she been real I would've called her to say "Thank You" but I can't... And so I tell to the world, do read "Midwives" It will guide you through a journey that started in a mothers womb through happiness, pain, love and death... through a teenage love, to answering your call and moving on...
In my 20 years of existence I have learned that...
Mistakes happen even with the greatest of intentions, and we cannot change that, if we try we will be living in "what should've been" rather than "what could be", but when we're able to get ourselves together we come with much.. much greater character...
July 28, 2009 (11:41pm) written in my journal
July 29, 2009 (10:03am) posted in my blog:)
Last week, exactly a week ago, I found myself another 374 pages worth of treasure. I told myself I am not gonna read it until the exams are over, I wouldn't be able to anyway, but as fate decides I have to read it... Along with my reviewers, along with the sleepless nights, along with the days i grew to dread...
"Each of us is responsible for the evil we may have prevented" - James Martineau
I wouldn't have known this since I am a very passive person, but ofcourse not unless it was needed for a philosophy class, the two kinds of sins... mortal.. venial.. omission and commission...
Each of us... Is Responsible... for the Evil... We may have Prevented...
every cut of the phrase means too much to me, it goes straight to my very sense that tells me,
"this means a lot"
I could go on and tell my side of the story and tell how this 374 pages change a lot of my passive thoughts.. no not just the passives.. but a lot of my current perspective.. but i just want to share what i think and what i feel...
I have indeed a lot of frustrations...
I even once wished of being with God especially when i think I can no longer carry the pain that I'm going through, but being with the people that I love makes me so ashamed of myself.
How dare me wish to die when someone else is fighting for their lives. When someone else prays for the lives of their loved one... Have I showed to the people that I love that I care for them? that I love them? I haven't... and It's the worst thing...
I am afraid of growing old, I remember brushing my teeth then the thought of me being 80 years old struck me.. Hell was I afraid... Mortified by the thought that I will come to a point that I will look back and remember the days in a rocking chair...
When we are haunted with our past it tends to pave the road for our present.. our future... Painting it with regret and grief and sadness...
To look back and move on.. pay respect.. to the people... to the pain... to the happiness... to the past that paved the road... I feel for her.. I feel deeply for her... To Constance who shared the story of her life, her mothers life, her family's life... Had she been real I would've called her to say "Thank You" but I can't... And so I tell to the world, do read "Midwives" It will guide you through a journey that started in a mothers womb through happiness, pain, love and death... through a teenage love, to answering your call and moving on...
In my 20 years of existence I have learned that...
Mistakes happen even with the greatest of intentions, and we cannot change that, if we try we will be living in "what should've been" rather than "what could be", but when we're able to get ourselves together we come with much.. much greater character...
July 28, 2009 (11:41pm) written in my journal
July 29, 2009 (10:03am) posted in my blog:)
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